Thank you for allowing my toes to press evenly into the ground as my heels lift. Quite the seesaw. I dance to the left on my tippy toes on an imaginary line. This is leveling, the first thing that I fell in love with in belly dance and one of the first things I inadvertently discovered the night of my first lesson. I felt more comfortable and excited playing with the heights in this dance, not so much dancing flat on my feet across the studio floor. The other women were content with their heel, arch, and toes on the cold surface but I was a bit bored.
At one point, I caught the eye of my petite and sweet instructor, Zazil. Her eyes lit up upon watching me. “That’s very advanced!” she yelled across the space. I guess I forgot to be self-conscious in this space and just moved along as I had never moved before, literally (I know, that word is used nearly everywhere, but in this case it appropriately fits!). All those years as a child where my mother would tell me to practice doing tippy toes to strengthen my legs and feet were now actually coming in handy—and instead of loathing the pressure on the ball of each foot, I absolutely loved it!
I had always been scared and uncomfortable doing any physical activity because of my cerebral palsy on my right side, but that night, I found a new love and we were so in sync, it was undeniable.
And I am grateful that that love is still here with me and for me. It takes care of me, even though I feel as though I abandon it at times; feeling stuck in a rut with a migraine or just mentally defeated after a long day or week, I chose stillness in lieu of movement. But showing my gratitude in fragments may just bring me back to moving more frequently.
So thank you, my Dear Dance. Thank you for being present when I am not. You’re in my thoughts. And we know how powerful the mind is. So maybe soon I will visit you.